Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
my poor anus
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
