Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
