we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize