so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
