I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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