i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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