wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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