i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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