Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
