I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
