i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
