i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
