She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just had sex on a roof
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
