I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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