Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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