Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like