Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
