He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
