so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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