I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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