I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
