is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
