the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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