I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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