Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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