Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
you made out with another girl for some wings
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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