No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
