I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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