oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
