I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
