she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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