so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
she looked like the before picture.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
