i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
