i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
