Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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