don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
is this the sara with the beer cane?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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