Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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