Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
wanna go halves on a baby?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
