we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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