party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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