I'm eating all of the evidence.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
