Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
