how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
