this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
