i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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