i wish there were pregnant emoticons
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
