I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
