She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
