I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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