Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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