So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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