i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
