Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
