Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
