i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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