the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
