sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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