hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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