True but thats because hes a fetus.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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