Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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