How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
