Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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