I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
