Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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