All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Everyone says I win the strip club
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
