he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
